Well, things aren't going so great right about now. Last night Danny and Mallory came to watch me play softball,we had a game against Deland and we lost like 50 to 15. It was humiliating. The pitcher on the team threw like a grown man, and smelled like one too. The girls on the team were all prety good players. We messed up alot and i know we could have done alot better. Kelsey did really good though, i was proud of her. Despite losing I did the coolest thing ever, i was stealing 3rd base to home and i was going to slide but decided not to and instead i slipped on home plate and did a front flip ontop of it and scored. :)It hurt a bit but it was cool. We all got some bruised and scrapes, but i think it was a learning experience.


I diddn't go to school today, cause i diddn't feel like it. I was really mean to to one of my best friends and i feel really horrible about it. Lately i've been treating everyone bad and i feel really bad for it. I think there is something wrong with me.


I diddn't go to my mom's house for the weekend afterall, i don't feel like i am ready to forgive her for everyting. Nick (my youngest brother) seems to not care about all of the neglect she put us through, and he goes and spends all of his time with her. Josh (my older brother) and I will probably never forgive her for what she did, And i feel bad that i have to disown her but it is her fault.


Incase you have no idea what i am talking about i'll explain; When i was about 2 my mom went crazy..literally. And she left us alone with my dad. He was in colledge and had afull time job, just to suppost us, so i had to stay home alone for most of my childhood. I had to fend for myself and learn to take care of myself. And i never really had that mothrly figure to go to and talk about things. When i was in Elementary school everything started coming back up and i was diagnosed with severe depression and the doctors tried to put me on a shit load of pills that i soon just flushed down the toilet. I grew up in a house of men who were at this point hatefull tward women, so my brothers used to beat me up for no good reason. When it got to the summer of 5th grade my mom decided that she wanted to try to come back, my dad had allready disowned her and never wanted to talk to her again, and Josh hated her with every ounce of hate in his body, I on the other hand was stupid and decided to forgive her, i Moved in with her and things were really messed up from the beginning. I got in a huge fight with my mom and said "if you really hate me so much why don't i just kill myself" Not really meaning it. She called the police and they arrested me and put me in Halifax. From that point on i have hated her and always will.



I'm not looking for anyoned sympathy, i just needed somewhere to get things out and this was the easiest way.

Well, i havent wrote in here in a loooong time so i think i'll fill it in somewhat. Josh and I broke up, due to not seeing him enough and due to him being an idiot. School is gay as usual. TOday i am supposed to be going to my mom's house, i suppose this is good since i haven't really spent time with her in nearly 7 years. I guess she thinks that spending a weekend with me will fix the childhood that she wrecked. I moved back into my house, after being gone for a week and a half after i got into a huge fight with my dad. Everything seem's to be going smoothly. And i think i have someone else in mind boyfriend wise. :) My Myspace got deleted by some fags, so i pulled up codes that i had saved and madea new one in about 12 seconds, so that was pointless. Softball has been going great, we haven't played any games yet because everytime we go to play one the opposing team goes to the wrong field or doesn't show up atall. So we have another practice or Sunday and a game Monday. I'm really excited, I even got my lucky number on my uniform. I can't wait for the season to get going. We finally have the right amount of girls to play, that is if noone else quits. Chelsea, Kelsey, Ashleigh, Maria, Allie, Jessica, Me, Kaylee, and Jelissa all play on our team. I play Second base and Center outfield. How exciting.
<3

Today was pretty awesome for the most part. I woke up in a HORRIBLE mood, But spending time with my friendsmade it better. We Had to do the Mock F.C.A.T. Which pretty much sucked. I fell asleep on my desk and woke up with a pencil stuck to my forehead. I think i did really good on it though, even though it was almost exactly the same as last year. I have Huuuuge blisters on my feet from my shoes and it hurts to walk. I decided i really missed Ainslee today, Me and Sierra were in P.E. and she said " i feel like someone is missing but i don't know who" It sucks because i wont think about her all day untill i walk in P.E. xpecting to see her and i realize she is gone. It sucks. Whenever im at school all i want to do is go home but when i finally get here i notice how crappy my family is and i start missing my friends. Anyway, the bus ride home was really boring as usuall and i had to listen to gay rap music the entire way. And the annoying PuertoRicans who never stop screaming or talking. I hope they all die. I hate it in Deltona. I want to move to Virginia. NOW. Or maybe Paris, Anyone interested in going with me? Well When i got home from school i was reallllly hungry but there is no food in this friken house so i had to wait for my dad to get home, hoping he brought something to eat. Then my dad got home an hour later with food, too bad it was nasty chineese. So i ate fortune cookies for dinner. =/ Ugh, everything is gay lately.

ive been getting lazy wit this thing well to make this easy. I went to school came home slept. woke up went to school and came home.

Well i havent updated this thing in a long time. so ill just start with thanksgiving becasue i dont remember anything before then.That day pretty much sucked. i got home to be with my family and stuff and my dad wasnt here so we waited for him to get here for 4 hours and when he finally showed up my grandparents had allready eaten so the food was cold and gross. and my dad diddnt even invite me to go it just said to my little brother "lets go" and they left so whatever. then i was on the computer eating potatoe chips and sierra asked if i wanted to come to her house and have a thanksgiving dinner with her. so i said yeah and her and her mom came and picked me up and i went over there and we ate potatoes chicken tarrioci (dont know how to spell that) and corn and stuff. then mallory was online and we asked her if she wanted to come stay the nicht and she was liek yeah sure so her parents drover her over we hung out played on the computer then watched spiderman while we went to sleep. FRIDAY- we woke up had a very lazy day. we went on the computer then wanted to watch movies so we went in her room and watched Bevis and Butthead do Christmas, it was really funny. then we decided to take a nap..it diddnt work out too well. s owe got up picked out come clothes to wear to the movies did our hair and make up then we picked chelsea up and went to the movies. my eye kept watering so only one of my eyes had eyeliner on it..it sucked. when we got there we found corine christina ashley louis mattie and everyone so we hung out with them for most of the night. and we went to target and hing out in the garden center drinking coffee and eating pretzles. then we walked back to the movie theatre plaza and christina asked if we all wanted to stay the night at her house since her parents were out of town so we all said sure and calle dour parents alot of people couldnt stay but it came down to me sierra mallory corine ashley and christina together. we hung out at the movies till we were all ready to leave then i think it was ashleys brother who came and picked us up. i dont really know. then we went to wal-mart to get toothbrushes since noone brought theirs. we got the cool ones with the tongue scrubbers. then we bought 50 dollars worth of junk food since christina diddnt have much to eat at her house and we got a movie to watch. then we took chelsea home casue she wasnt allowed to stay then we went to mallorys house to get sierra's retainers. then we went to christinas. we stayed up almost the whole night myspacing it up and watching porn haha. thenat about 4am we wanted to go to the convienence store down the street to get some food to eat. so we got our shoes on and left walked a little more than a mile to the store where we saw a cop. he seemed suspisious of us. he asked us to come over so we walked up to the car and he asked us why were out so late and what we wer edoing everyone was nervous so i said we were hungry so we walked here. and he was like allright. so we walked in the store where we got hit on by a drunk guy. and as we were paying another cop drove up and i was like "great he called backup" so when we walked out they said "girls your going to need ot come with us" we were scared so we asked to see their badges they showed them to us no questions asked. so we got in the cars me mallory and sierra were in the regular car. and corine christina and ashley were in the van type car. it was realy awesome :) they drove us to christina's (goign about 70 miles per hour on a 30 mile per hour street) then they asked if any adults were home we said no so they searched the house to make sure noone broke in or anything and to make sure we were okay. then they asked for our numbers and left. it was really freaky. then at about 6 am we all fell asleep. SATURDAY- we woke up at about noon got ready then took off to the mall.when we got there we met up with louis chris and paige hung out with them the whole time. and had alot of fun. then we got picked up by ashleys mom in her HUGE van. then she dropped christina corine and ashley off at christinas house. and sierra at her house mallory at hers and me at mine. when i got home michael invited me over to stay up all night watching movies i was like allright sure. so i told my dad i was going to a friends house for the night he was like allright so michael picked me up and we went to his house. watched Kung Fu Hustle (really stupid) and then we went to go watch the ammityville horror but michele had to be picke dup so her parents came and took her home and michaels mom wasnt comfortable with me spending the night so i had my dad pick me up where we had a run in with the cops. long story. then i went home and fell asleep while eating goldfish. i had a very eventfull weekend. :)

Pictures from the mall.

Pictures from Christina's

:)

MY WEEKEND- was very eventfull ok to stary Friday i went to the movies with mallory sierra ashleigh mattie webb chris and christina we hung out liek the whole night had loads of fun, i dont really remember it much. i went to sierras with mallory and christina and we made ourselves a memory box (fun) and took loads of pictures and watched saw and home videos and all that fun stuff, then michael and brandan (did i spell that right?) came over at like 8 am. (woke us up) we diddnt have make-up on or anything. and he mom made all of us muffins and we played with her kitties and all kinds of stuff. then they decided to leave and we got ready, then went to olive garden and saw a cute waiter an dtook pictures of him without him knowing, we ate breadsticks salad and chicken strips. then we drove to Bells to exchange Sierra's shoes, she got blueish purpleish low-top converse. it was really fun. after that we went back to Sierra's house and got extremely bored and figured we shoudl go to the movies again. and i got goosebumps all over my arms an legs (good thing) it means something good is going to happen, and it did.. we found michael and brandan and we hing out the whole night. we went to the coffee shop and target and all that fun stuff. sierra perposed to me and i said yes. :) Then my dad picked us up and dropped us off at Mallorys house and we stayed the night there. we fell asleep watching white chicks. it was fun. in the morning sierra had to go home :( so she took a shower and straightened her hair and her mom picked her up. then me and mallory had a really lazy day and watched tv and went on myspace all day. Brad was supposed to come over but had to do some gay essay so couldnt. but i finally got my shoes back from under mallory's bed. and then i went home. ok, now for today. today was a decent day i hugn out with all of my friends and office aided and all of that. but then i had to do the mile run..i diddnt do too shabby. 8:45 or something liek that. me and chelsea decided we were actually going to try then we both started getting all cramped up and that time of the month feeling so we ate crackers and then it started to pour down rain, so we all got soaked (fun) and then we went to get our cloths back on. and yeah that was pretty much it i had an awesome week.


felt like naming the things that i am thankfull for since its almost thanksgiving.
1.Friends. (Mallory Ashleigh Sierra Chelsea Sarah Candis Andi Ainslee Kirsten Steve Michelle Marco Deanna Webb)
2.Family..sometimes.
3.School. i would have never met alot of amazing people.
4.love
5.myspace
6.pets. they listen to you.
7.airconditioning. it gets pretty hot here.
8.tv.
9.phones
10.ok screw it. im thankful for everything.

Well today was pretty good too. Even though Candis satayed home AGAIN. we're all sick, she is just a wussy. well anyway today was awesome becasue when i got to 6th period (office aide) i got to stay 7th period to help ms. scully with passing out wrist bands for the 7th grade social. And after that me and Amber stayed after school. and i got to go to the 7th grade social haha. it was really lame. there were little emo 7th graders crying everywhere and they played simple plan and greenday the whole time. it sucked really bad. but it was sorta fun ciz i got to sell the pizza and soda and stuff with Amber Michael Boykin Nick Beavers and Lauren. it was sorta cool being one of the only 8th graders there, i saw Paulmer too. I walked up to him and i was like hey, and he was like "what the hell, Why are you here?" And i did the cha cha slide and the electric slide, it was pretty fun othe rthan that i just kind of walked around and hung out with the 7th graders. In language arts we had to write this essay thing on teen freedom and Ms. Peele imbarrased me BAD she showed ALL of the teachers my essay and printed copies and read it to our class and to her 6th and 7th periods. She asked me to print it onto an overhead copy so she can show it to her future classes. ugh. i diddnt even think it was good, she said i am writing at a level 6. its sort of annoying she is always pushing me to write really good stuff and imbarrasses me infront of the class and reads all of my stuff. blah. Well, i dont have anthing else to write about. ill write in here after school tomorrow or after i get home from the movies or something like that. <3